Hiatus over

5 concerts,
4 months,
3 promotions,
2 attempts to quit smoking,
and one new girlfriend later…

and I have returned!!

Hold your applause everyone, I’m not worthy.

There is no possible way that I can fill you all in on every single thing that’s been happening in my absence, but I’ll do my best at trying.

~*~*

I’m still working at my same job, only now I’m hunting for either a part-time job on the side, or for a new career altogether. I’ve been promoted 3 different times with 3 different changing schedules, and it’s left me unhappy. I’m now opening up the office Monday-Thursday at 5am in the bloody morning, and working 8 hours until 1pm. I loathe this schedule completely… I’m not a morning person in the slightest and even though I’ve been in this routine for the past 3 months, I STILL haven’t adjusted to it. And on top of that, I’m feeling extremely under appreciated and overworked at my job. I’ve been spending the past couple weeks looking for other work, even though I’m very torn about it. I love what I do at my job and I love who I work with, and I love that I have a guaranteed 3-day weekend… I just hate the waking up early and lack of happiness. I’ve tried changing up my schedule so I don’t have to open, but my supervisor won’t budge on the matter.
Oh well, it’s not helping anything to rant about it, either. It is what it is. At least it’s a job, and for that I’m thankful.

And, yes, I DO have a new girlfriend.
If you recall a few of my blog posts from the past, she has been mentioned in them.

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We’ve known each other for 6 months and we just celebrated our 3 month anniversary on the 16th, and I couldn’t be happier with her. She has a job (which that alone makes her an improvement over the last girlfriend I had), she has motivation and drive and passion and she’s responsible and respectful, and she has a great personality and sense of humor :) plus she’s absolutely beautiful and makes my heart skip a beat, which is also a plus ;)
We’ve been arranging to move in together some time in the next few weeks when we have sufficient funds and nobody could possibly imagine how excited I am about it and how much I’m looking forward to it. It’ll be the start of something wonderful.

We’ve been to quite a few concerts together, including one of my favorite bands, Lola Black.

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And, to top everything off on a positive note, I’ve successfully quit smoking! It took me a couple tries, but the 3rd time was a charm :) with that on top of losing nearly 70 lbs, I’ve never felt more healthy in my life. Tomorrow marks one month without a cigarette and I’m only going on stronger from here. I regret ever starting, and I loathe and hate my ex for ever convincing me to pick up the habit.

~*~*

I’m not sure what else to report on; everything above is pretty much everything that’s been happening lately in a nutshell… but I won’t slip up on my blogging again. It SHALL continue more frequently.

My day

I woke up this morning to find a text from her waiting for me.

I made myself some breakfast and smoked my morning cigarette while she texted me.

I got out of the shower later on to find another text from her waiting for me.

I spent some time with a co-worker before work, and the entire time, she texted me.

When I pulled into the parking lot at work, there was another text from her waiting for me.

As I sat at my desk tonight at work, for 6 hours, she texted me. The entire fucking night, she texted me.

After driving my co-workers home tonight after our shift, I pulled up to my house to find a couple more texts from her waiting for me.

I made myself some dinner and watched tv, while she continued to text me.

She told me she was going to try and get some sleep, but she was only gone for 10 minutes before she texted me again saying she couldn’t sleep. So we texted some more.

Right now, I’m laying in my bed, she’s asleep in her bed, and I can’t stop thinking about our texting. And I wish I could be texting her some more right now.

I finally found someone that I can hold ACTUAL conversations with. I can’t believe someone actually enjoys talking to me this much, and I can’t believe I’m enjoying talking to her this much.

And I genuinely love the conversations we have.

We talked about going horseback riding together.
We talked about making a sculpture of Lady Gaga out of Nutella.
We talked about some guy hitting on me at work tonight and how she’s gonna kick his ass if it continues.
We talked about going to see a movie together this coming Sunday.
We talked about the picture I drew for her at work tonight.
We talked about the events of our day today.
We talked about how much we hate politics.
We talked about how we can’t go into pet stores without wanting to adopt every single animal.
We talked about SOUP.
She asked me how my day was.
I asked her how her day was.

I’ve never had these types of conversations with anyone – not even any of my previous girlfriends.

This is nice.
I like this.
I like her.

…I like her

Concert life (part two)

My previous post about attending the Carnival of Madness tour was actually one of the three concerts I have attended/will be attending this month.

My SECOND concert was of Lola Black at The Black Sheep, here in town.

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Lola Black is a local band that I discovered back in March. They had opened for In This Moment when I saw them live the first time, and they’re really good! So when I found out they were coming back to The Black Sheep, I HAD to go.

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I had to work that morning (unfortunately), but after clocking off I went straight home and got ready for the show. I planned on waiting in line to insure that I’d get front row next to the stage.

I got to the venue at around 5:30, and the line was minuscule – only 4 people waiting. So I took my spot, lit a cigarette, and waited.

Tessa, my friend who came with me to Carnival of Madness, was planning on coming to this show with me as well, and met me there at around 6:30pm, and the venue let us inside at around 7pm.

As soon as we got inside we went right to the merch table. Tessa got herself a t-shirt, and I got myself two. And after changing and taking our other shirts out to my car, we came back inside and took our spots next to the stage. And we stuck there for the whole time. We were determined to be front row.

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There were two other bands that opened before Lola Black came on, and they weren’t that great so I honestly remember nothing about them :P
But when Lola and her band came on stage, I’ll never forget it!!

I managed to get some AMAZING shots and videos:

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Lola is phenomenal live.
Their band isn’t very well known yet, so not many people showed up to the concert – maybe 4 or 5 dozen at most – which disappointed me. But I still enjoyed the show and the music so much.

And AFTER the show, Tessa and I got the chance to meet Lola and the band :)

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Lola is such a sweetheart :) she gave me quite a few hugs, thanked me for coming to the show, and she even signed my ticket stub!

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The show and the experience was great; something I’ll always remember. An I had an amazing friend to share it all with, which makes it that much better :)

My next concert experience?
This Sunday night.
OTEP!!

Concert life

A while back I mentioned that I was planning on attending the Carnival Of Madness, and that I’d be posting about it.
Well, this that time.

~~~

I had bought the tickets a month in advance for myself and a co-worker, Tessa, who is also a good friend of mine. We were excited about it and looking forward to taking the day off work to go see the bands.

On the day of the show we left at around 11am and made the hour and a half drive up to Denver. Once there, we stopped at a restaurant called Casa Bonita – otherwise known as the Disneyland of Mexican restaurants.

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And after we ate and enjoyed all there was to do at the restaurant (including cliff diving shows, an arcade, the gift shop, and a little thrill trip called Black Bart’s Hideout), we went on our way up to the Red Rocks Amphitheater!

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The actual venue is carved into the natural rocks, and there are DOZENS of stairs to get up to the stage, and even more to get to your seats.

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The first thing we did before finding our spots was go to the merch tent!!

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And we matched!!!

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There were 5 bands there total, and they were: We As Humans (whom I’ve never heard of before, but they were pretty good), In This Moment (which was the whole reason I wanted to go), Papa Roach, Skillet, and Shinedown. They were all extremely amazing and it was a great concert :)

Since my phone was low on battery, I only had enough juice to get some shots and videos of ITM.

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I wish I had gotten better pictures, but since I used my iPhone for the pictures, and with our seats being so far away, that makes for bad quality shots.
Shinedown was absolutely amazing and I regret not getting any pictures of them. I have a new found love for that band, no doubt about it.
And halfway through the shows, it started pouring rain. It would stop every now and then and sprinkle here and there, but for the better half of the show we were being rained on. That’s what you can expect with an outdoor venue, though!!
During all of Shinedown’s set we were rained on, an it was a pretty steady downpour – needless to say we were absolutely soaked to the bone. After the show, once we made it to the car, it took quite some time to dry off and warm up. And the rain only worsened from there.

Before heading back to the Springs we stopped at Arby’s and got something to eat, and then started our long journey back home. We were both exhausted and our throats were sore from the amount of screaming we had been doing that day. Tessa fell asleep on the way home and I remember wishing I could do the same. But we got back home after a while – maybe around 1am – and I dropped her off at her place and then went home myself.

It was an amazing show and a night I’ll never forget :) the only downside is that Tessa and I both got nasty chest and head colds from being out in the rain… I’m still coughing and sniffling, and it’s been a good 3 weeks since the show! But that’s the price you pay, I guess.

But I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything.

Slacking

I haven’t updated here in a while. Oops!

There’s actually not too much to report on. I’ve been working like a dog and just going through my every day life, I guess.

But one thing that I’m extremely excited about is going to the Carnival of Madness tour next week in Denver :)

As soon as I saw the tickets on sale I jumped right in and got two tickets – one for me and one for a co-worker of mine, Tessa, who happenes to have become a very good friend of mine. I, of course, didn’t want to go by myself (because let’s face it, attending concerts alone isn’t as fun as having someone there to enjoy it with you). And I’m very excited to have her come with me :)

This will be the second time I’ll be seeing In This Moment live in concert – twice in the same year! I really hope this time will be as exciting as the previous time!

I know the band has been offering VIP passes for a meet and greet after their set in the show, and I plan on buying one for myself and Tessa as long as they’re still available.

This time next week, I’ll be on my way up to Denver for the time of my life. We’ve bee waiting for over a month – I don’t think I can take the waiting any more!!

Pictures and a recap of the day WILL be posted ;)

Abundant happiness

I just feel the need to say – I’m extremely happy :)

I have an awesome job, a wonderful family, amazing kick-ass friends (both old, and new)…

I really don’t think there’s anything missing in my life right now! 

All I need to make things even more perfect, is my own apartment. That’s one thing I’m dying to have. But, I’m on the right track!

The road so far…

Ever since landing my new job, I’ve been doing nothing but adjusting to my new-found schedule. And here it is:

  • I start my day anywhere between 9 and 11am – since I don’t have to be at work until 3pm, I have the luxury of sleeping until noon if I so desire. But sleeping away my entire morning before work seems like such a waste (considering I do have things to get done before leaving for work, anyway). So I attempt to wake myself up at a fairly decent time to get my shit done. 

    I cuddle in bed with my cat for a while, I let the dog outside for his morning/afternoon potty break, I scrounge up something to eat, shower, get dressed, then hang out in the living room and with the animals and veg on the couch until it’s time to leave.

  • Around 2pm I leave for work, even though I don’t clock on until 3pm. I get there around 2:20, then go inside and claim my little cubicle, clock in, then go outside for a smoke and just chill out and prepare myself for my shift. 

    My friends at work make things so much more enjoyable. I’m so thankful that I was able to meet and make new friends at work. I was afraid I wouldn’t connect with anyone, but it was surprisingly easy :) we bonded over mutual likes and dislikes, as well as our quotas for work (with which we often have contests and competitions, haha). There’s never a dull moment when I’m clocked in – especially with my supervisors on top of all of my friends, haha!

  • I clock off my shift at 8pm, and from there it takes me another 20 minutes or so to get back home. And as soon as I’m home, I’m drained – even though I sit on my ass for 5 hours and just make phone calls. You’d be surprised – reading the same script over and over and over and OVER is mentally exhausting. I’ve only been there for a little over a week, and already I know my script frontwards, backwards, inside and out. It’s all repetition.

    When I get home, my cat Skullivan just about has a fit of excitement. He’s surprisingly clingy and is such a mama’s boy, and whenever I’m gone for more than an hour at a time he has a fit. So, after I give him his lovin’s, I normally change into my comfy clothes and either put on a movie on the Xbox to watch, or watch something on my laptop or listen to music. Since I don’t get home until fairly late, I don’t get to sleep until fairly late – maybe 2 or 3am sometimes. I don’t like staying up so late, but hey, that’s my schedule from working the late shift.

And as soon as I go to bed, I wake up the next day and do it all over again! It’s not the most glamorous job in the world, and it’s less hours than I would like, but it pays very well and I’m thankful that I have one. Even though I still live at home with my dad for the time being, I’m in a better situation than most are; not all can say they have a job that pays more than minimum wage – or can even say they have a job at all. I’ve struggled for almost two years to find another job after quitting my first one, and I’ve worked my ass off to find one. And now that I have one, I’m keeping a tight grip on this.

 

My life may not be sparkly and perfect, but it’s mine. And I’m extremely happy with where I am right now. And I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world

Learning experience

From only being on my new job for four days, here’s a few things I’ve learned from working at a call center:

1.) There are quite a few genuinely kind people in this world. They’re hidden amongst the assholes, but they’re there.

2.) Not as many people will jump at the chance at the words “free product” than you’d think.

3.) Patience is a virtue. Especially when making calls every single day. Sometimes you’ll have customers who can grasp onto what you’re promoting fairly quick, others need their hands to be held through the process – which is okay. It helps you learn how to approach and handle people in other situations.

4.) For every kind hearted person in the world, there’s an asshole out there as well. They’re everywhere. And I so mean everywhere.

5.) Make at least one friend at your place of work. It makes your day a little bit more enjoyable and it’s not as lonely.

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Also, for those who do receive calls from someone employed at a call center, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1.) When someone says “free” or “no obligation,” we mean just that.

2.) Even if you might not be interested in the product, at least try to hear us out. There’s no need to be rude and hang up on us – we’re just trying to do our jobs.

3.) If you do agree to hear us out, please try to understand that we have a pitch and a script that we are required to follow. We may repeat ourselves and ask several redundant questions, but we are required by our supervisors to stick to the script we are given. So plead try to bear with us and be patient, we’re just doing as we’re told.

4.) There’s no need to be rude. It is understandable that calls such as these may be frustrating, but we are just trying to get through our day-to-day lives, just like you are. A little bit of kindness goes a long way, and it makes our jobs easier, and it can get you back to your business that much quicker.

5.) We have quotas that we need to meet by the end of each day, and by hearing us out and continuing with our call will help us meet our goals and will make our jobs enjoyable and easier. It’s not the worst thing in the world to give us five minutes of your time

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If I was able to come to these realizations after less than one week on the job, I can’t wait to see what I’ll learn after one month.

Working girl

It’s almost as if things are falling into place lately.

I started my first day of work today, and I already know that I’m going to love this job.
It’s for a call center pitching magazine subscription renewals for $10/hour. I was happily surprised to find out that I had gotten the job, quite honestly. And it came at an amazing time, too! Since ending things with Ashley and since doing her own thing with whomever she’s rebounding with, I can finally focus on myself and my own happiness, and put myself first :) and the way to do that is to have this job and save up enough money for myself to move out on my own (finally!).

With any luck, and if I save every single cent of my paychecks, I’ll be out of the house and into my own apartment by the end of December :)

Things are really looking up. And I’m happier now than I have been in months

Breaking up is hard to do

Break ups are never easy. Never.

You go from being around that special person 24/7 – always falling asleep beside them – going everywhere with them – telling them everything that’s on your mind – hugging them and kissing them, to being alone 24/7 – falling asleep alone in an empty bed – going everywhere by yourself – not having someone to talk to all the time – having nobody to cuddle with or hug or kiss and missing that constant emotional contact.

And that hurts. That change really hurts and affects your life in a very big way

And that’s how I feel right now, going through this current break up.

But you know what? I’m happy :) I’m honestly and genuinely happy.
I no longer have to worry about being looked straight in the eyes and be lied to anymore, I no longer have to deal with the pain of being cheated on, I no longer have to compete for her affection, I no longer have to feel insecure about myself and wonder if I’m enough for her, I no longer have to be made to feel like I’m expecting too much from her just because I want affection.

I no longer have to wonder or question whether or not I’ll be happy if we were to break up. Because now I know. And I know that I’m happy :)

Will I miss her? I don’t know. I still somewhat want her to be happy, but I don’t want to be with her if she’s going to pretend to be in love with me – like she confessed to me the other day. I don’t want to be sad or feel trapped like I did. I don’t want to be with someone who uses me and treats me like her doormat.

I know I deserve better than her, and I know that I deserve someone who loves me and isn’t afraid to show it. I won’t be looking for a relationship any time soon – I’m going to be taking a lot of time for myself to get my shit together and to sort out what I want with my life – but I know that when I’m ready to pursue another romantic relationship, I’ll be ready for it :) the trust issues will be there, and it will be hard for me to get over them, but I’m willing to try.

I hope that Ashley finds herself and is happy with whatever she decides to do. I really, really hope she finds happiness, really and truly. I hold no grudges towards her (at least, I’m trying not to), and its making me feel so much better about what I’m going through. And I know that I’ll get through this as a stronger individual :)

All of the trials we go through gives us the strength to carry on.